ravi

after quitting a job that was affecting my sanity at a time of year not meant for quitting restaurant jobs, i found myself working at a shitty theatre district corporate type place. uniform, buffet brunch, menu tests...the works.

immediately, i came across a surprise. ravi, a man who'd lived with a friend's boy what felt like a million years ago, worked there. i was a month into living with my boyfriend, mark, who i adored but had already been unfaithful to.

luckily, ravi wasn't the "other man" type. we would go for a drink after our shift, talk, flirt, and i would go home and not have sex with my boyfriend.

i ended up leaving mark, and was able to explore other aspects of ravi. we had incredible sex, amazing conversation...i felt relieved. yes! this was what i wanted! he was supportive, encouraging, and seemed to think i was a rather special specimen.

then he told me that he was moving. to taipei. in a month.

suddenly my world crashed down around me. how was i not a priority? i had left my boyfriend for him (a detail they were both blissfully unaware of)! and he was leaving? mutually smitten, we made plans to keep in touch, maybe i would even visit?

i'd been through this years before, and knew that this was highly unlikely. or at least, i should have.

within two months the essay-long emails became one line notes. the occasional surprise phone calls stopped.

saw him again the next summer, had one night of awkwardly passionate sex.

i've never been sure why ravi affected me so much long term. i was young? on the rebound? but i still think about him, wondering how and where he is.